The Rush of Christmas...

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly!



Ahhh. Yes it is that time of year again folks. Christmas is an unusual event because like the way of most national holidays it seems to have gone completely Hallmark. Is Hallmark still in business?? If so than it should be very proud indeed. To have made a nick name for holidays that have lost all meaning except that shiny manic edge of commercialism. Christmas and Easter are two very fine examples although Christmas has been more thoroughly saturated than Easter.


There is a poster that aptly applies here when it comes to the celebration of Easter...for those who are easily offended avert your eyes...

Then of course there is the celebration of the birth of Christ at Christmas time. Was Christ born at Christmas?? Without having to do too much research lets leave that alone. Christmas just is not what it once was...hasn't been for awhile now and the more I walk into Wal-Mart looking for gifts for those I love, (or some other equally packed department store) I want to punch someone and wash my hands of the event. Do I have very little patience or anger issues? Hmm. That's for a different blog altogether I think.

Christmas is just for kids.

There is more truth in that today than we might want to think....parents or other family members scrambling to get the biggest, best thing that the child can demand. Once again the only thing I could think of doing is saying forget it. Remember, Santa only brings gifts to good little boys and girls. Does that mean good throughout the whole year?? Impossible. Santa would have a rather short drive on Christmas eve if that were the case. In fact, the whole conception of Santa Claus as we know him today is a product of Coca Cola. Round, red and jolly. Yes, commercialism at it's best. We buy the idea of the holiday though. We crave it. In fact aren't we all like black ravens?? Attracted to shiny glittery objects and lets face it, holidays gone commercial are the biggest gems of all.

In closing I will quote my mother, for all of her infinite wisdom and advice there is nothing more backward that made perfect sense. "Why pick it apart if it seems to be working? You don't have to enjoy it but don't ruin it for everyone else." Is there a word for a scrooge on every calender holiday that's scheduled? Cause right now, as I write this blog entry every one of those words just might possibly describe me.

Canadian Side Note:

Hi Canada...what the hell is boxing day about? I know. Do you?? Its give away the gifts you got at Christmas time that you didn't like, to the servants of the house. Wow. What a day with such deep felt meaning that the entire country felt the need to take the day off. We're not England, the historical "tradition" isn't even our own to uphold. So whats the deal??

Things to think about while having a merry Xmas. Ho ho ho.

Cornell, Vedder making a comeback...common sense and real feeling in music?? NEVER!

Have you ever experienced that feeling inside where absolutely anything and everything is possible? A wondrous surge of adrenaline as you think about how and where to begin...Life can be like that sometimes. For me to feel this special feeling I only have to play one song only. This is the song that makes me feel like I could climb mountains and not have to catch my breath. Rise Up by Eddie Vedder. I can say with great regret it took my watching the movie Into the Wild before I knew that Vedder had even been producing music still. My days of pining for the sound of Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and other various groups having lessened and soon faded practically out in 1999. I forgot how it was to be moved by the deep resonating male voice leading the instruments as they create musically indepth masterpieces.

I have to give my due to the wonderfully talented singer, Chris Cornell who suddenly was alive for me again when that American Idol singer brought the spotlight back to him. Sure Audioslave had a good run but to be realistic he's much better on his own. Billie Jean? A great song that needed the twist that Cornell put to it. All of this is not new news to the music buffs out there, but I am far from a music obsessed individual, even when the teenage years were upon me I never reallly did go out of my way to find out much about the bands themselves. Music has the ability to move and...not move all the same. If it speaks to me than I like it. If it doesn't than it's a pleasant distraction from the silence while I drive my car. Most main stream radio can have that effect. Who knew how many times John Mayer said the same lyrics over and over in the same song until it was played twenty-five times a day?

But that's what most music is today right? The same over and over...can't be a song until you sing the same thing at the end of each verse, add a couple of those lyrical note jumping riffs and...well... there you go!

Planning for a wedding

So this is the beginning of a great deal of work. Not that I am adverse to working...in the right capacity it can feel productive as opposed to tiring. Weddings are supposed to be a gathering of family to celebrate the union of two people. This has been a union a long time in the making cause the engagement period took long enough, let me tell you!
The idea of an engagement had first begun with Egyptians, a process created for the soul purpose of getting to know one another and ensuring compatibility.

You want me to sign a prenup?

Yes, a prenuptial agreement is not exactly new news folks. Its been around for a VERY long time indeed, doing the same job it was always meant to do: protect the interests of the parties involved. Going all the way back to the beginning of course it was a little broader in the scope of prenuptial agreement, at one time including the interests of the entire "clan".

Who's paying for this shindig?

On the banks of the Nile is where historically the groom would pay for his bride, then the grooms family would fit the bill for the celebration. Not true in all cultures throughout history, until recent years it was the brides family who would see to that tiny detail. Now, it's a scramble for not just the families of the bride and groom but the bride and grooms themselves to cover the cost. With the ever increasing industry that the business of weddings has become we are seeing prices soar with it. Shark fin soup anyone? It's all about presentation, preparation and execution. Showing family and friends a good time while impressing them thoroughly is the number one concern on any modern brides "to do" list. In many parts of Asia as well as the rest of the world a show of wealth is made by the menu. How so? As mentioned above shark fin soup is quite the rage. Never mind that the shark fin itself is completely tasteless and all you're eating is some broth with a bit of fin in it...it's all about the cost. If mom really wants it and she's willing to pay for tradition at a premium dollar is there really anything to quibble about? Don't worry that sharks are destroyed for the soul purpose of their fins and thinning out dramatically in population. In the end it can be from shark fin soup to the finest delicacies made by an award winning chef, clout comes with the dollars attached to the event.

Parades to promenades...

Way back in the old country...wherever that old country might be it was a tradition to have a parade or celebration to show off the engaged or newly married couple. Imagine...strutting your stuff and waving like the Queen of England down the main street of a large city just cause your getting hitched finally. Well, no longer the style we have seen that tradition morph into something far more modern--the party. Yes, another party in a long line of parties to come...the big finale being the wedding reception itself. The engagement party, the stag and doe, the bridal shower, the bachelor party, the bachelorette party and finally the wedding. Did I miss any? Maybe. The point is, when your planning a wedding you undertake not just the main even but others as well...makes my head spin thinking about the organizational skills required to pull it all off successfully and without a hitch in the giddy up.


Planning a wedding can be a harrowing experience, for this reason I caution all young loves and couples with big plans for the future to pick carefully when assembling their wedding party. A good wedding party can make or break the wedding from the early stages of planning all the way to the execution. While the marriage can often turn into something you may want to forget, the celebration of that marriage should be something to remember!

Life as a Personal Support Worker

So I have begun my journey as a PSW, still taking a class for the certificate but have been hired by a company to do things that I have yet to be trained in class to do. Hope they plan on showing me a few things otherwise I'm gonna be that menace coming to your house to perform pericare without a clue on how to do it. Wonder when they will put a college of PSW's together so the profession can be regulated...I realized that PSW's do a broad range of stuff so it is hard to pin down a specific list of tasks although it can't be impossible...I mean, what do nurses not WANT to do...and there you go, you have tasks that are specific to a PSW. I mean, my friend calls herself a poop connosiuer, not exactly the full aspect of what she does but when she is taking stool samples and cleaning ostomy bags, its pretty much a good discription. Hospitals are finally hiring PSW's full time to do the jobs that nurses claim they have no time for. So does that mean that if PSW's were not around the nurses weren't doing their jobs correctly?? hmm food for thought.

In a recent conversation with my cousin she said that she didn't want to become a PSW because she would be a 'nurse's bitch'. Not a very flattering comment at all when you think about the thousands of PSW's out there making not a bad dollar from picking up the slack that nurses don't find time for. She continued to make a comment about my temporary choice of being a PSW. "Do you really want to work under the nurses?" Well my retort was simply this: You will always have a supervisor and you only answer to that supervisor it doesn't matter what kind of job you have. I mean, nurses answer to their supervisor sometimes a doctor and yes those with a superiority complex will always be assholes no matter where they are...no matter what profession. I mean I once worked for Tim Hortons and my supervisor thought her shit didn't stink just because she was in a position of power over those around her. Power trips happen anywhere.

My ultimate goal is to become a Registered Practical Nurse, not even close to the kind of profession I fancied for myself while growing up, but priorities change and health care pays.
An RPN is a nurse, although not the same as a Registered Nurse (RN) I can't imagine going to school for four years at university to come out with a degree in nursing. Quite frankly I don't have the time, not many parents do. So the obvious choice is RPN. Shorter schooling period, with a darn good paycheque at the end of it all...did I mention that it's half the cost if not cheaper than that even?

Anyway. I lost the point of my rant somewhere in the body of my blog. oh well.

Word of the Day -- Descry

de·scry

tr.v. de·scried, de·scry·ing, de·scries

1. To catch sight of (something difficult to discern).

2. To discover by careful observation or scrutiny; detect: descried a message of hope in her words

Neighbors: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.

So in every movie there is one neighbor who just cannot help themselves in the nosey dept. That would be me. Or at least mildly if not fanatically. I have been blessed with several neighbors and while for the most part they are great there are a few "questionables" (and who knows, I might be one of those)

My immediate neighbors are your typical neighbors on the outside. The one to the right of me is a single woman with her single dog living her carefree single life but with an older twist. That translates into her NOT partying every weekend which is fine by my family oriented standards.

The neighbors to the left of me are a mother and her daughter. Her rank is an Army Sgt. who is an absolute sweetheart. Her daughter???

What to say, the typical teenager who could do with a dose of reality and what adults do in the real world. Aside from that, completely normal. Now lets look at the neighborhood neighbors.

The single woman to the right of me that I mentioned earlier has a neighbor in the semi units beside our row house. They have two sons the eldest, a 15 year old boy who breaks into houses. How do I know this little tidbit? Well the single neighbor experienced it herself. Found her cell phone stolen and condoms that didn't belong to her lying about. Also found a healthy dose of child pornography on her computer. The military police came over, made a big 'do' of taking away her PC and looking stern. It was a good thing that 15 year old left stuff behind that incriminated him. Not that it did anything. The military police requested that he pay the money required to replace the phone and a letter of apology.

How does one apologise for something like that? Complete home invasion, used for god knows what purpose and to top it all off he was looking at child pornography. This is how it starts, frightening that the MP's have turned a blind eye to it and that no one else can step in locally because it occured on a military base.

The neighbors across the road are an interesting bunch. There are two families that I am most entertained by. One runs a home daycare through the Borden Family Resource Center and everyday these kids are running around and she is just SCREAMING at them. I babysit, but there is no way that I would yell like that especially at children who are not mine. But hey, when you go through the FRC on base here they are supposed to be doing check ups to make sure everything is just fine. I'm sure it is.....................................

The neighbors two houses over to the right across the street have a teenager as well. I don't know much about her except that she is having or really WANTS to have sex with her boyfriend. All day on the weekends and well into the night on week days she sits in front of their house making out with him. They go into these positions that had my daughter been outside with me at the time I would have been upset. He pins her to the wall while she wraps her legs around him....all the while grinding against one another.

And so you see.

The good, The bad, and the just plain ugly of the neighborhood. All observed from the confines of my own property.

Seperation Anxiety

It has been almost four years since Steve and I "tied the knot" (this is not in the literal legal sense either) and if we consider all of the facts I can see a change in my life from that point as so very drastic I find it difficult to recognize it at all. The bottom line is I no longer live in close proximity to home which makes the differences in my life all the more glaring.
People who you would think are your friends to the end suddenly disappear cause they couldn't be bothered anymore and priorities have all completely remade themselves into something different. A one time party girl who was fine going with the flow of life with no real direction other than paying the bills and having a good time, I am a mom who's days are ordered and completely planned weeks in advance. For instance. Mornings are reserved for going outside, we walk to the park play for about two hours and then we come home and read some books. After reading we have lunch it generally ends up being one of three things....mac and cheese, sandwich of some sort with soup or hot dogs. After lunch it is nap time, followed by either crafts or baking. Then we go outside again to finish off the day cause Daddy is home soon after that and it's my break time.
That leaves little time for me to do my writing, a priority at one point it seems to have taken a back seat to...everything. I was a bit of a party girl, I liked going out, I liked having friends around and now that has changed. Im not a big drinker anymore...I mean my birthday is coming up and there is nothing less interesting than getting some drinks and celebrating that way. WHat do I want to do??
I don't know and I think that's half of my problem. Before I moved away and my life changed I knew who I was inside and out with no doubt or questions. Now I am on my own...truly on my own discovering who I am now...all over again. It's hard actually. Because it's not just me that I'm figuring out, at the same time I am figuring out who I am as a parent, a partner and person.
With no new everyday people to call friends here on base its really given me the solitary time to get to know me.
What have I discovered so far in? That I actually like the family I have in London. Who knew? I am incredibly lazy for the most part, I don't like social situations unless I know everyone there already...and I have to know them well in order to actually have a good time. Also, I realize that I am still desperate to be comfortable in who I was before I moved today but find it doesen't work in my current situation.

Who knows. THe bottom line is that I am still trying to figure out who I am and have found it difficult to let go of the person I knew that I was. I think they call that when you become old your glory days...lol

A Child's Voice

I have recently entered into a commitment with myself. I was approached to do a website for Naiomi Almeida Park. The one they have currently is gross to say the least, this is coming at a great time because I am feeling quite the activist as of late. Not to mention I have big plans for this particular project...all of which I plan to discuss with the CEO and founder of the Naiomi Almeida Park group currently on Facebook and http://www.napark.ca/. The webpage portion is the easy stuff, a great way to use up some stewing creative juices currently but at the same time I have dreamt large and it's not even my charity. The Naiomi Foundation is where I see this dream heading. A charity organized to create awareness about violence against children in all of it's forms. Where fundraising projects are aimed at creating safe places for children to go and play such as parks, rec centers and maybe even camps.

Lobbying to change our laws where offenders who hurt children are given no room in the penal system. Where our government dollars are spent largely on rehabilitating YOUNG offenders in order to prevent future crimes and future criminals. We have the ability to make children our future which seems to be an ongoing theme even for awareness oriented public service messages on education to name one of many. Canada is known as a peace keeping nation in other countries, lets take some time and focus a bit on our homeland. Your five year old will one day be a voter and have a family of their own to worry about. Protecting that child and thousands of others just like him/her is in our best interest. If we hadn't worried about the quality of life our children face than what exactly would Canada have been founded for? The Brits didn't come over for heck of it. Colonies were founded on the premise that this was and would continue to be a better quality of life for it's future generations. With populations growing world wide and land becoming a premium we don't exactly have the luxury of packing up and founding a new way of life on foreign, uncharted land. Let's make what we have truly the great way of life our ancestors envisioned for us. Let's start with our children.

The life of a Military Spouse

So I live on a military base in central Ontario and this is our first posting as a family. There are many things about life as a military spouse that I like and many things I hate. I hate being away from my family, namely because I have never been away from them. I hate giving up my friends, which seems to be the only option since they never seem to make the effort I do or have in order to see them. Really, thats all I hate though but the family is a BIG thing to give up...probably the hardest in fact. The things I love are numerous as well, the base where we are is nice and the community is well developed, we are in the country essentially in the very place my parents met and I do have a lot of family history here on a whole. But for right now lets focus on the actual life I have now and will look forward to for however many years my husband chooses to stay in the military.



1. I have to adjust to new surroundings all of the time, never staying in one place will do that to a person. I have a daughter to think about and come time for our next posting in September 2009 she will just be starting school for the first time ever and we will uproot her again almost immediatly.



2. Constantly looking for new resources in different cities grows to be a pain in the neck! Not every county has the same standards, procedures or even RESOURCES so what you were relying on in the city you live in presently you can kiss goodbye in the next. A prime example of this is our move from Kingston to Borden. Subsidised daycare allowed me to go back to work, as well as a daycare ON BASE that had openings. Here it is another story entirely. Despite the well developed resources on base there is a long wait list to get into the daycare...not only that there is NO SUBSIDY from Simcoe County because of the wait list to get it. (when I arrived here it was 450 people long with spaces opening up few and far between!) This is an outrage considering Toronto is a mere 45 minutes away.



3. Getting a job every time you arrive on base is not easy, one of the downfalls to where Base Borden is located is the LACK of jobs for military spouses. I have yet to complete college which qualifies me for Tim Hortons or maybe Subway. Otherwise I have to drive to the nearest city or town all 20 minutes at the very least no matter which way I go. To work for DND as a civilian you are required to be bilingual. Not so easy for a girl from Southwestern Ontario where everything is more American than it is Canadian. The cost in gas plus that of childcare (starting on average at 140 a week) I work for absolutely no reason at all...unless I make over 13 bucks an hour and being qualified for very little makes that hard. Individuals just starting out with the military (a PTE) generally make 35 grand a year maybe less...with a family that's really difficult to live on.

4. To add to my frustration is the option for school. The military SSISP office will pay for spouses or immediate family members to go to school and get an education. YEAH! The problem with that is being posted in an area that has access to post secondary schools. Base Borden is a great location because Georgian College is in Barrie...not far...only 20 to 30 minutes drive down the highway. Most if not all courses worth spending the money on are two plus years in length. SURPRISE we are not here that long! Our next posting could very well be something remote and ridiculous like Cold Lake Alberta. NO THANKS!!! The closest school is in Edmonton which is a LONG drive away. Over three hours in fact.

So my question is when does the quality of life for people who live with military personnel improve? What are the benefits of standing by 'your man' when there is NO consideration for the quality of family life unless that afore said spouse is overseas fighting a war like we are in the Middle East? Of the approx. 80,000 troops in Canada they are not all overseas, and despite the idea that people 'choose' this life sometimes that just isn't true.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
Jane Howard, "Families"

Travelling has become a big part of my life as of late. Not the kind of travelling that most people come to think of as 'normal' but the travelling that people do from city to city via car. Yeah. It's certainly not the most glamorous but then again as long as I'm doing it with the people I love I wouldn't or couldn't ask for anything else. I've travelled of course, no farther than the US mind you but at least I can say I have been out of the country...more than a lot could say I guess. Although would it count if you travelled to another country when you lived on a border? Like Windsor is to Detroit? Or like Sarnia is to Port Huron...or whatever that town is called across from Sarnia. Hmm. Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone. The Dhammapada

Word of the Day -- Salubrious

sa·lu·bri·ous /səˈlubriəs/ Pronunciation Key-[suh-loo-bree-uhs]

adjective

Favorable to or promoting health; healthful: salubrious air

Tele Nursing...to be or not to be?

Winter weather always seems to have the ability to get people down...especially during that home stretch between winter and spring. February being the worst...Suicide Watch Month is what the nurses at Telehealth Ontario call it (unofficially). In fact, they go out of their way to hold meetings over the subject...preparing the receptionists that get front line calls with emergency procedure. We should get a ribbon, declare a holiday and have a big walk-a-thon especially since I'm sure most people can identify with feeling down during this time frame. The nurses in some respect at Telehealth do help however lets take a look at what nursing at Telehealth Ontario is...

In a province where access to doctors is scarce and emergency rooms are stacked disgustingly high as a result we have those wonderful nurses to answer questions and provide some basic instructions on general health care matters. What is it they do? They are trained to read from computer screens, told that should for any reason they deviate from what the computer screen is telling them it's their job. Sometimes personal experience...first hand in the field of health care could dictate something different entirely but are they allowed to say anything? Another note along this thought process is questions the computer hasn't been setup for. Advice is good if it's relevant and sometimes in a world where there is due process for everything people get nervous and seek that extra confirmation. Often these computers are not setup for the human responses that some people require and therefore come away from the experience disillusioned, feeling they've just wasted a chunk of time possibly put to better use reading a medical encyclopedia. And what of the job of Telehealth Nurse? Really?

I know lots of people literate enough to type a few key words into a computer database, ask some yes or no questions and then regurgitate the information that pops up. Unexperienced computer/internet people for major fortune 500 companies do it all the time. Most of the technicians you speak to had no idea where the start button was on Windows software when they started....three weeks of 'review' is supposed to give them the indepth knowledge they will need to know the ins and outs of computer and internet repair....with the help of a handy database. Isn't the government in a lot of respects just like one of those companies? The Canadian Government doles out a ton of cash...possibly millions of dollars in contract with third party companies to provide this service. Nurses make anywhere from 21 to 30 bucks an hour when they could pay the same Schmo Joe half the cash for the same results. Can you read and write and use common sense? Oh maybe get your first aid too. (75 bucks through Saint John's Ambulance)

Personally, I would rather pay those millions to attract General Practitioners for full time care of people...which is what we REALLY lack.

Just some food for thought.

Word of the Day -- Fallacious

fal·la·cious /fəˈleɪʃəs/ Pronunciation Key - Spelled Pronunciation[fuh-ley-shuhs]

Adjective

1. containing a fallacy; logically unsound: fallacious arguments.
2. deceptive; misleading: fallacious testimony.
3. disappointing; delusive: a fallacious peace.

Evil Step Mother.

It's been a long time since I have had a blog, not that many people ever took enough interest in reading the trials and tribulations I've experienced. Who could blame them? A one-sided glimpse into the life of a 26 year old woman who will soon be the step mother to two children and already mother of her own three year old. An unwed realist who deep down thinks it would be great to just chuck it all when the going gets tough...but doesn't. Responsibility is a funny thing sometimes and as my mother would say and I am paraphrasing here...."You chose it."
She's right of course, I did choose it (and I do love my family) but that doesn't mean that everything has turned out to be the happy fairytale that I was sure it would be. Nothing has a happily ever after ending...or is that the pessimistic realist inside of me speaking? Who knows. Am I the next facilitator for the perfect 'today' family or have I been the evil step-mother bent on usurping one man's attention for my own ends? I shudder to think of the half truths in that question.