The life of a Military Spouse

So I live on a military base in central Ontario and this is our first posting as a family. There are many things about life as a military spouse that I like and many things I hate. I hate being away from my family, namely because I have never been away from them. I hate giving up my friends, which seems to be the only option since they never seem to make the effort I do or have in order to see them. Really, thats all I hate though but the family is a BIG thing to give up...probably the hardest in fact. The things I love are numerous as well, the base where we are is nice and the community is well developed, we are in the country essentially in the very place my parents met and I do have a lot of family history here on a whole. But for right now lets focus on the actual life I have now and will look forward to for however many years my husband chooses to stay in the military.



1. I have to adjust to new surroundings all of the time, never staying in one place will do that to a person. I have a daughter to think about and come time for our next posting in September 2009 she will just be starting school for the first time ever and we will uproot her again almost immediatly.



2. Constantly looking for new resources in different cities grows to be a pain in the neck! Not every county has the same standards, procedures or even RESOURCES so what you were relying on in the city you live in presently you can kiss goodbye in the next. A prime example of this is our move from Kingston to Borden. Subsidised daycare allowed me to go back to work, as well as a daycare ON BASE that had openings. Here it is another story entirely. Despite the well developed resources on base there is a long wait list to get into the daycare...not only that there is NO SUBSIDY from Simcoe County because of the wait list to get it. (when I arrived here it was 450 people long with spaces opening up few and far between!) This is an outrage considering Toronto is a mere 45 minutes away.



3. Getting a job every time you arrive on base is not easy, one of the downfalls to where Base Borden is located is the LACK of jobs for military spouses. I have yet to complete college which qualifies me for Tim Hortons or maybe Subway. Otherwise I have to drive to the nearest city or town all 20 minutes at the very least no matter which way I go. To work for DND as a civilian you are required to be bilingual. Not so easy for a girl from Southwestern Ontario where everything is more American than it is Canadian. The cost in gas plus that of childcare (starting on average at 140 a week) I work for absolutely no reason at all...unless I make over 13 bucks an hour and being qualified for very little makes that hard. Individuals just starting out with the military (a PTE) generally make 35 grand a year maybe less...with a family that's really difficult to live on.

4. To add to my frustration is the option for school. The military SSISP office will pay for spouses or immediate family members to go to school and get an education. YEAH! The problem with that is being posted in an area that has access to post secondary schools. Base Borden is a great location because Georgian College is in Barrie...not far...only 20 to 30 minutes drive down the highway. Most if not all courses worth spending the money on are two plus years in length. SURPRISE we are not here that long! Our next posting could very well be something remote and ridiculous like Cold Lake Alberta. NO THANKS!!! The closest school is in Edmonton which is a LONG drive away. Over three hours in fact.

So my question is when does the quality of life for people who live with military personnel improve? What are the benefits of standing by 'your man' when there is NO consideration for the quality of family life unless that afore said spouse is overseas fighting a war like we are in the Middle East? Of the approx. 80,000 troops in Canada they are not all overseas, and despite the idea that people 'choose' this life sometimes that just isn't true.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
Jane Howard, "Families"