Seperation Anxiety

It has been almost four years since Steve and I "tied the knot" (this is not in the literal legal sense either) and if we consider all of the facts I can see a change in my life from that point as so very drastic I find it difficult to recognize it at all. The bottom line is I no longer live in close proximity to home which makes the differences in my life all the more glaring.
People who you would think are your friends to the end suddenly disappear cause they couldn't be bothered anymore and priorities have all completely remade themselves into something different. A one time party girl who was fine going with the flow of life with no real direction other than paying the bills and having a good time, I am a mom who's days are ordered and completely planned weeks in advance. For instance. Mornings are reserved for going outside, we walk to the park play for about two hours and then we come home and read some books. After reading we have lunch it generally ends up being one of three things....mac and cheese, sandwich of some sort with soup or hot dogs. After lunch it is nap time, followed by either crafts or baking. Then we go outside again to finish off the day cause Daddy is home soon after that and it's my break time.
That leaves little time for me to do my writing, a priority at one point it seems to have taken a back seat to...everything. I was a bit of a party girl, I liked going out, I liked having friends around and now that has changed. Im not a big drinker anymore...I mean my birthday is coming up and there is nothing less interesting than getting some drinks and celebrating that way. WHat do I want to do??
I don't know and I think that's half of my problem. Before I moved away and my life changed I knew who I was inside and out with no doubt or questions. Now I am on my own...truly on my own discovering who I am now...all over again. It's hard actually. Because it's not just me that I'm figuring out, at the same time I am figuring out who I am as a parent, a partner and person.
With no new everyday people to call friends here on base its really given me the solitary time to get to know me.
What have I discovered so far in? That I actually like the family I have in London. Who knew? I am incredibly lazy for the most part, I don't like social situations unless I know everyone there already...and I have to know them well in order to actually have a good time. Also, I realize that I am still desperate to be comfortable in who I was before I moved today but find it doesen't work in my current situation.

Who knows. THe bottom line is that I am still trying to figure out who I am and have found it difficult to let go of the person I knew that I was. I think they call that when you become old your glory days...lol