The life of a Military Spouse

So I live on a military base in central Ontario and this is our first posting as a family. There are many things about life as a military spouse that I like and many things I hate. I hate being away from my family, namely because I have never been away from them. I hate giving up my friends, which seems to be the only option since they never seem to make the effort I do or have in order to see them. Really, thats all I hate though but the family is a BIG thing to give up...probably the hardest in fact. The things I love are numerous as well, the base where we are is nice and the community is well developed, we are in the country essentially in the very place my parents met and I do have a lot of family history here on a whole. But for right now lets focus on the actual life I have now and will look forward to for however many years my husband chooses to stay in the military.



1. I have to adjust to new surroundings all of the time, never staying in one place will do that to a person. I have a daughter to think about and come time for our next posting in September 2009 she will just be starting school for the first time ever and we will uproot her again almost immediatly.



2. Constantly looking for new resources in different cities grows to be a pain in the neck! Not every county has the same standards, procedures or even RESOURCES so what you were relying on in the city you live in presently you can kiss goodbye in the next. A prime example of this is our move from Kingston to Borden. Subsidised daycare allowed me to go back to work, as well as a daycare ON BASE that had openings. Here it is another story entirely. Despite the well developed resources on base there is a long wait list to get into the daycare...not only that there is NO SUBSIDY from Simcoe County because of the wait list to get it. (when I arrived here it was 450 people long with spaces opening up few and far between!) This is an outrage considering Toronto is a mere 45 minutes away.



3. Getting a job every time you arrive on base is not easy, one of the downfalls to where Base Borden is located is the LACK of jobs for military spouses. I have yet to complete college which qualifies me for Tim Hortons or maybe Subway. Otherwise I have to drive to the nearest city or town all 20 minutes at the very least no matter which way I go. To work for DND as a civilian you are required to be bilingual. Not so easy for a girl from Southwestern Ontario where everything is more American than it is Canadian. The cost in gas plus that of childcare (starting on average at 140 a week) I work for absolutely no reason at all...unless I make over 13 bucks an hour and being qualified for very little makes that hard. Individuals just starting out with the military (a PTE) generally make 35 grand a year maybe less...with a family that's really difficult to live on.

4. To add to my frustration is the option for school. The military SSISP office will pay for spouses or immediate family members to go to school and get an education. YEAH! The problem with that is being posted in an area that has access to post secondary schools. Base Borden is a great location because Georgian College is in Barrie...not far...only 20 to 30 minutes drive down the highway. Most if not all courses worth spending the money on are two plus years in length. SURPRISE we are not here that long! Our next posting could very well be something remote and ridiculous like Cold Lake Alberta. NO THANKS!!! The closest school is in Edmonton which is a LONG drive away. Over three hours in fact.

So my question is when does the quality of life for people who live with military personnel improve? What are the benefits of standing by 'your man' when there is NO consideration for the quality of family life unless that afore said spouse is overseas fighting a war like we are in the Middle East? Of the approx. 80,000 troops in Canada they are not all overseas, and despite the idea that people 'choose' this life sometimes that just isn't true.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
Jane Howard, "Families"

Travelling has become a big part of my life as of late. Not the kind of travelling that most people come to think of as 'normal' but the travelling that people do from city to city via car. Yeah. It's certainly not the most glamorous but then again as long as I'm doing it with the people I love I wouldn't or couldn't ask for anything else. I've travelled of course, no farther than the US mind you but at least I can say I have been out of the country...more than a lot could say I guess. Although would it count if you travelled to another country when you lived on a border? Like Windsor is to Detroit? Or like Sarnia is to Port Huron...or whatever that town is called across from Sarnia. Hmm. Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone. The Dhammapada

Word of the Day -- Salubrious

sa·lu·bri·ous /səˈlubriəs/ Pronunciation Key-[suh-loo-bree-uhs]

adjective

Favorable to or promoting health; healthful: salubrious air

Tele Nursing...to be or not to be?

Winter weather always seems to have the ability to get people down...especially during that home stretch between winter and spring. February being the worst...Suicide Watch Month is what the nurses at Telehealth Ontario call it (unofficially). In fact, they go out of their way to hold meetings over the subject...preparing the receptionists that get front line calls with emergency procedure. We should get a ribbon, declare a holiday and have a big walk-a-thon especially since I'm sure most people can identify with feeling down during this time frame. The nurses in some respect at Telehealth do help however lets take a look at what nursing at Telehealth Ontario is...

In a province where access to doctors is scarce and emergency rooms are stacked disgustingly high as a result we have those wonderful nurses to answer questions and provide some basic instructions on general health care matters. What is it they do? They are trained to read from computer screens, told that should for any reason they deviate from what the computer screen is telling them it's their job. Sometimes personal experience...first hand in the field of health care could dictate something different entirely but are they allowed to say anything? Another note along this thought process is questions the computer hasn't been setup for. Advice is good if it's relevant and sometimes in a world where there is due process for everything people get nervous and seek that extra confirmation. Often these computers are not setup for the human responses that some people require and therefore come away from the experience disillusioned, feeling they've just wasted a chunk of time possibly put to better use reading a medical encyclopedia. And what of the job of Telehealth Nurse? Really?

I know lots of people literate enough to type a few key words into a computer database, ask some yes or no questions and then regurgitate the information that pops up. Unexperienced computer/internet people for major fortune 500 companies do it all the time. Most of the technicians you speak to had no idea where the start button was on Windows software when they started....three weeks of 'review' is supposed to give them the indepth knowledge they will need to know the ins and outs of computer and internet repair....with the help of a handy database. Isn't the government in a lot of respects just like one of those companies? The Canadian Government doles out a ton of cash...possibly millions of dollars in contract with third party companies to provide this service. Nurses make anywhere from 21 to 30 bucks an hour when they could pay the same Schmo Joe half the cash for the same results. Can you read and write and use common sense? Oh maybe get your first aid too. (75 bucks through Saint John's Ambulance)

Personally, I would rather pay those millions to attract General Practitioners for full time care of people...which is what we REALLY lack.

Just some food for thought.

Word of the Day -- Fallacious

fal·la·cious /fəˈleɪʃəs/ Pronunciation Key - Spelled Pronunciation[fuh-ley-shuhs]

Adjective

1. containing a fallacy; logically unsound: fallacious arguments.
2. deceptive; misleading: fallacious testimony.
3. disappointing; delusive: a fallacious peace.

Evil Step Mother.

It's been a long time since I have had a blog, not that many people ever took enough interest in reading the trials and tribulations I've experienced. Who could blame them? A one-sided glimpse into the life of a 26 year old woman who will soon be the step mother to two children and already mother of her own three year old. An unwed realist who deep down thinks it would be great to just chuck it all when the going gets tough...but doesn't. Responsibility is a funny thing sometimes and as my mother would say and I am paraphrasing here...."You chose it."
She's right of course, I did choose it (and I do love my family) but that doesn't mean that everything has turned out to be the happy fairytale that I was sure it would be. Nothing has a happily ever after ending...or is that the pessimistic realist inside of me speaking? Who knows. Am I the next facilitator for the perfect 'today' family or have I been the evil step-mother bent on usurping one man's attention for my own ends? I shudder to think of the half truths in that question.